I am not very nice

Recently I have made a discovery about myself, I am a sick individual.  Health wise and also I think I might have something wrong upstairs.   I must tell the story of Sammy the Seal for anyone, which is no one to understand.  Sammy was caught in the oil spills of Alaska, and thankfully he got lucky and was rescued and taken to marinas in California, where he lived happily for many years.  He was fine there, he learned to perform and the crowds loved him.  Then the animal rights activists got involved (bless their little hearts) and demanded that Sammy "the show seal" now be released in to his natural habitat which he had been taken out of and taught to live with the humans.  So after a great battle, the marina agreed to put Sammy back in to the ocean.  The day finally arrived for Sammy to return to his natural environment, and there was a big ceremony.  News reporters, government officials, people from the marina and his fans were all there to see Sammy off.  They let Sammy out of his cage and he ran down the beach, he even turned to wave goodbye.  He jumped in to the ocean and began to swim away.  Tears were flowing from the shoreline.  Sammy could be seen jumping and swimming away, and then guess who showed up, Mr. Killer Whale who rose up out of the water and swallowed Sammy.  This is why I am sick, as are my sisters, my husband and my best friend, that is the funniest story I have ever heard.  Not because Sammy died, I like seals but because of the idiots on the shoreline gasping in disbelief when an animal gets eaten by another animal. Hello it is nature get over it, but it still makes for a funny damn story. 

Now you want to know why I am not nice, I was telling the story to a girl I work with and as I was sitting across the office from her I could see the tears filling her eyes and that should have stopped me.  Maybe at one time it would have, but not this time.  I kept going and going and going, and I kept laughing and laughing and laughing.  Not because she was crying but because it is a funny story.  Come on it is a seal.  But of course this is the same girl that asked me if I thought she should call animal control because it was hot outside and there were cows in the field and she didn't see any water for them.  They are cows, they're not smart, there is a reason that we eat them.  They don't hang around their water, they graze the fields, besides what is the farmer going to do put them in the house.  "Oh come on Mr. Cow, I have your bed all made for you, please don't crap on my carpets."  

I am not sure where this sickness came from.  Maybe it runs in the family, maybe I picked it up from my husband, or maybe I picked it up in high school when my friend and I used to draw pictures of the people we had no use for and do evil thing to them in the pictures.  I am not quite sure, but whatever it is I am sick and I am the one who must live with it.