I just wanted to write a few lyrics down to some songs or quotes that either make me think about my life, make me happy or I just really like:
1) "Sometimes you reach what is real just by making believe."
2) "I don't have anything in my life that effects me negatively, one by one I am weeding out the negative cancers."
3) "But the struggles make you stronger, the changes make you wise and happiness has a way of taking it's sweet time"
4) "When you can't walk anymore you crawl, and when you can't crawl you find somebody to carry you"
5) "You're the fighter, you've got the fire, the spirit of a warrior the champion's heart. You fight for your life because a winner never quits"
6) "Isn't it wonderful that you need not wait a moment before changing the world"
7) "You might even wind up being glad to be you"
8) "It is impossible to make happiness for others before finding it for yourself."
9) "I've dealt with my ghosts, faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regret. -Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down the road."
10) "YIPPEE KAY-EE MOTHER %^*(#@"
11) "My wife rolled out of bed this morning jumped on her menstraul cycle and ran my ass over"
12) "Life has been patiently waiting for me and I know there are no guarantees, but I know that I am not alone"
13) "I know something is coming, I don't know what it is but I know it is amazing, can save me, my time is coming. I will find my way out of this longest drought."
14) "You treat life like a picture, but it is not a moment in time and it is not going to wait for you to make up your mind."
15) "Amen I am alive!"
16) "Everyone has something beautiful, the trick is finding it before it dies."
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Here I sit
Well here I sit at my desk listening to the rain hit the roof. I would walk home but it is raining like crazy and I thought that today would be a great day to wear sandals. Should have paid attention to the dark clouds in the sky this morning but I really wanted to wear my new pants and because the are short pants they only look right with sandals. It is scary but sometimes fashion comes before common sense and this is when I feel like a girl.
Things are better, I got to go home this last week and see some old friends. It was amazing to see how some people have grown up and how some people will never change. I hope I have changed, I don't think I am as mean as I use to be. I shake a little more now than I ever did but oh well I am still here. I just can't get over how great it was. I got to see some of my best friends be amazing mom's. I just want to recap what I saw.
Lucy- Holy crap what an amazing mom, I never thought I would see Lucy hand down authority like that. We use to stay up until all hours of the night watching movies, and she was the person that told me that before I ever frenched kissed a guy to practice on my fingers. By the way Lucy if you read this I think that was part of the reason I had to go to therapy. :) My mom caught me and oh shit it was over. But seriously Lucy you looked so beautiful and happy, and you have the cutest little girl. I am kind of envious, but very proud of you.
Lena- I never thought my friend Lena would become a mom. She use to tell her little brother how much she hated him. Oh yeah and she looked better than ever, even when she was happily munching down on her big green salad. Short hair makes your ears appear smaller, oh yeah your welcome. You just looked all grown up and I really wish I could have met your kids, but life is hard when you have to depend on someone else for a ride. I am proud of you Leners, you are just amazing.
Kyla-The only difference between Kyla then and now is she can buy beer legally, and she is really, really happy. Oh yeah and she has a beautiful baby that thankfully looks like her daddy. Heaven forbid she grows up to be beautiful like her mom. Kyla is still as mean as ever, I think it is the Peggy in her, but she is still one of the best friends that I have ever had. (even when she pisses me off) I am grateful for Kyla and her friendship, and if she ever reads this I hope she will remember how much I love her. By the way I didn't tell my mom what we talked about so if you see her remember she is nuts and doesn't need to know everything.
Alysha- First off I am seriously jealous. Holy crap what an amazing life, I want to go somewhere besides Utah. Utah is nice an all but it just isn't exciting and I am getting sucked in to a culture that I don't fit in. You are just amazing and you just beam with happiness, it is like you don't care what people think of you. I think that is great and let me in on that secret sometime. You are just amazing and totally capable of accomplishing everything you ever wanted. Dude I love you.
Kelly- I am proud of my friend Kelly, she is doing exactly what she wanted and she is good at it. I still can't get over the fact that she has five kids, but she is really good at being mom and they are all really cute. It isn't really fair though she was almost due, had kids running around everywhere and still looked sane and cute. I look dead more than 90% of the time, it just isn't right. Oh yeah and I am insane most of the time, but I am blaming that on meds. Oh yeah and she married the nicest guy in the world, they are so cute.
To make this a little bit shorter, there are just so many things I can say about the people I went to high school with. I am happy that Ben Warren married somebody that keeps in line and that he gets to be dad now. I love that the other Ben married Melissa, mostly because I love Melissa and she needs a nice guy that will keep her under control. I miss my friend Rich, I miss his compassion for others and I am happier than hell that he quit perming his hair. Oh yeah and I love his wife, what an awesome chick. I think Misty looks more beautiful than she did ten years ago, she definitely has some some of the same characteristics but she married a great guy (yes I love Dave) that loves her very much and she has beautful daughters. She seems to like herself more and I think that is great. She also seems to be exactly what Dave needs. I am happy that Levi Kindall found someone that is smart enough to know what a good thing is, and he makes a great dad. Levi Harrison will never freaking change, ever, but I think that is why I love him. I know what to expect from him and his really fantastic wife seems to make him stay in line. I don't know what she is doing but I hope she is beating him. I was glad to see Geni, she has a contagious laugh and seems truly happy no matter what people think. I am happy that life is going well for her. I am glad that Mike Macedo is doing well, I love that guy. I am glad that he and Kyla split, they didn't work well but they both have moved on and are grown up enough to be friends. It is kind of like they were never married. And finally, (oh I hope I didn't miss anybody) I was really glad to see Josh, I missed him a lot. He really pissed me off a couple of years ago, but he grew up like we all did. I have kind of gone through hard things for a while whether it be God's purpose or self-inflicted but I try to remember the people that have touched my life. He was a good friend to me, plus I had a crush on him. I just remember the things he helped me through just like the people reading this blog have. So I couldn't be mad at him forever and I really just miss my friend.
Okay I have gone on long enough. Anyone that might dare read this might be tired by now. I just want to say thanks again to my old friends and I really hope we don't have to wait 10 years to see each other again. I love you all.
Things are better, I got to go home this last week and see some old friends. It was amazing to see how some people have grown up and how some people will never change. I hope I have changed, I don't think I am as mean as I use to be. I shake a little more now than I ever did but oh well I am still here. I just can't get over how great it was. I got to see some of my best friends be amazing mom's. I just want to recap what I saw.
Lucy- Holy crap what an amazing mom, I never thought I would see Lucy hand down authority like that. We use to stay up until all hours of the night watching movies, and she was the person that told me that before I ever frenched kissed a guy to practice on my fingers. By the way Lucy if you read this I think that was part of the reason I had to go to therapy. :) My mom caught me and oh shit it was over. But seriously Lucy you looked so beautiful and happy, and you have the cutest little girl. I am kind of envious, but very proud of you.
Lena- I never thought my friend Lena would become a mom. She use to tell her little brother how much she hated him. Oh yeah and she looked better than ever, even when she was happily munching down on her big green salad. Short hair makes your ears appear smaller, oh yeah your welcome. You just looked all grown up and I really wish I could have met your kids, but life is hard when you have to depend on someone else for a ride. I am proud of you Leners, you are just amazing.
Kyla-The only difference between Kyla then and now is she can buy beer legally, and she is really, really happy. Oh yeah and she has a beautiful baby that thankfully looks like her daddy. Heaven forbid she grows up to be beautiful like her mom. Kyla is still as mean as ever, I think it is the Peggy in her, but she is still one of the best friends that I have ever had. (even when she pisses me off) I am grateful for Kyla and her friendship, and if she ever reads this I hope she will remember how much I love her. By the way I didn't tell my mom what we talked about so if you see her remember she is nuts and doesn't need to know everything.
Alysha- First off I am seriously jealous. Holy crap what an amazing life, I want to go somewhere besides Utah. Utah is nice an all but it just isn't exciting and I am getting sucked in to a culture that I don't fit in. You are just amazing and you just beam with happiness, it is like you don't care what people think of you. I think that is great and let me in on that secret sometime. You are just amazing and totally capable of accomplishing everything you ever wanted. Dude I love you.
Kelly- I am proud of my friend Kelly, she is doing exactly what she wanted and she is good at it. I still can't get over the fact that she has five kids, but she is really good at being mom and they are all really cute. It isn't really fair though she was almost due, had kids running around everywhere and still looked sane and cute. I look dead more than 90% of the time, it just isn't right. Oh yeah and I am insane most of the time, but I am blaming that on meds. Oh yeah and she married the nicest guy in the world, they are so cute.
To make this a little bit shorter, there are just so many things I can say about the people I went to high school with. I am happy that Ben Warren married somebody that keeps in line and that he gets to be dad now. I love that the other Ben married Melissa, mostly because I love Melissa and she needs a nice guy that will keep her under control. I miss my friend Rich, I miss his compassion for others and I am happier than hell that he quit perming his hair. Oh yeah and I love his wife, what an awesome chick. I think Misty looks more beautiful than she did ten years ago, she definitely has some some of the same characteristics but she married a great guy (yes I love Dave) that loves her very much and she has beautful daughters. She seems to like herself more and I think that is great. She also seems to be exactly what Dave needs. I am happy that Levi Kindall found someone that is smart enough to know what a good thing is, and he makes a great dad. Levi Harrison will never freaking change, ever, but I think that is why I love him. I know what to expect from him and his really fantastic wife seems to make him stay in line. I don't know what she is doing but I hope she is beating him. I was glad to see Geni, she has a contagious laugh and seems truly happy no matter what people think. I am happy that life is going well for her. I am glad that Mike Macedo is doing well, I love that guy. I am glad that he and Kyla split, they didn't work well but they both have moved on and are grown up enough to be friends. It is kind of like they were never married. And finally, (oh I hope I didn't miss anybody) I was really glad to see Josh, I missed him a lot. He really pissed me off a couple of years ago, but he grew up like we all did. I have kind of gone through hard things for a while whether it be God's purpose or self-inflicted but I try to remember the people that have touched my life. He was a good friend to me, plus I had a crush on him. I just remember the things he helped me through just like the people reading this blog have. So I couldn't be mad at him forever and I really just miss my friend.
Okay I have gone on long enough. Anyone that might dare read this might be tired by now. I just want to say thanks again to my old friends and I really hope we don't have to wait 10 years to see each other again. I love you all.
more things I learned
68. No matter what you can always go home.
69. Whether it is 2 months or 10 years real friends will always be your friends.
70. The people you love the most can break your heart the fastest.
69. Whether it is 2 months or 10 years real friends will always be your friends.
70. The people you love the most can break your heart the fastest.
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