Things I have learned thus far, I will add to this when I learn more

As I was laid up in bed the other day when the worst headache of my life I thought about the things that I have learned so far in my life, give it a read if you want to.
1. No matter how hard I try my husband can always see through my bullshit.
2. Never expect anything from anyone, that way when they surprise you it will be more worthwhile.
3. Ice cream can fix anything
4. Never give up on your family you never know when they might need you or you might need them.
5. Cats make good friends.
6. No matter how much Heather (my sister) pisses me off I will always love her.
7. A kind word from a loved one can change your whole day.
8. I couldn't make it if it weren't for my whole family.
9. New or old, they are all my family.
10. Ben will never get me, but he loves me regardless.
11. If anybody ever suggests sticking a needle in to your back, kick them and run like hell.
12. Nothing can get in the way of my dreams, slow me down maybe but never stop me.
13. Knowing I will be with my family when all is said and done is worth it.
14. My sisters can always make me laugh.
15. Ben can't fix everything, but he sure does make it easier.
16. I have no room left in my life for anger.
17. Three year olds can make you forget the bad stuff.
18. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
19. I wish I was a kid again.
20. Friends are important, even if you just have one.
21. I really want to bake and make teddy bears.
22. Teddy bears can make you feel better.
23. Nascar and WWF don't make you any smarter.
24. I like sad bastard flicks, they make me feel better about my life.
25. Teenagers piss me off.
26. Tommy has important things to say, I just wish I spoke cat
27. You can learn a lot from people.
28. Don't take things for granted, you never know when it is going to disappear.
29. Somedays I just want to be left alone
30. People can get better
31. Love everybody you can.
32. Listen to good music with a meaning.
33. Sometimes burping is the nicest feeling, sometimes farting feels even better.
34. Laugh as often as you can, laugh lines show character.
35. Fear will make you crazy
36. Listen to the doctors they usually know more than you do.
37. My husband is the greatest man alive, followed closely by my dad, his dad and my friend Chad.
38. I have a few true friends, that makes me lucky.
39. My mother doesn't need to know everything.
40. I love my husbands friends especially Lisle, David and Jason.
41. Adventures happen everyday even if you don't leave the house.
42. I really like to travel.
43. Arcade games are fun, I suck but they are still fun.
44. I am not very good at most things, but I am going to keep trying.
45. I have a twisted mind, but so does Ben that is why we work
46. I hate to make my dad worry.
47. Sometimes I just need my mom.
48. Heidi scares me.
49. I don't know why but sometimes it is just fun to piss my mom off.
50. My mother-in-law will never be my mom, but I love her just as much.
51. I will always be a Kerr, but now I have the privilege of being a Thompson too.
52. Spell check doesn't know everything.
53. Despite her flaws my stepmom has a beautiful heart.
54. Heidi has a twisted mind, I think that is why we get along so well.
55. Sandi just gets me, or at least she pretends to, but she likes me anyway.
56. I hate headaches, I really hate them.
57. Asking for help is the hardest thing in the world.
58. I have met some real assholes in my life.
59. Not everybody needs to know my problems, most people don't care anyway.
60. There is healing power in helping others.
61. I will never drink it again for multiple reasons, but I really like coffee.
62. I wish it were autumn all year round.
63. I miss Idaho, or maybe it is just my family.
64. I like it when Ben giggles.
65. Intelligence is sexy, Know-it-Alls are annoying.
66. No matter how bad a waitress is, if you throw up on the table tip her big.
67. Always tip your waitress something even if it just a bag of skittles, as long as she brings you your food and fills your water that is more than what you get at home.

I am not very nice

Recently I have made a discovery about myself, I am a sick individual.  Health wise and also I think I might have something wrong upstairs.   I must tell the story of Sammy the Seal for anyone, which is no one to understand.  Sammy was caught in the oil spills of Alaska, and thankfully he got lucky and was rescued and taken to marinas in California, where he lived happily for many years.  He was fine there, he learned to perform and the crowds loved him.  Then the animal rights activists got involved (bless their little hearts) and demanded that Sammy "the show seal" now be released in to his natural habitat which he had been taken out of and taught to live with the humans.  So after a great battle, the marina agreed to put Sammy back in to the ocean.  The day finally arrived for Sammy to return to his natural environment, and there was a big ceremony.  News reporters, government officials, people from the marina and his fans were all there to see Sammy off.  They let Sammy out of his cage and he ran down the beach, he even turned to wave goodbye.  He jumped in to the ocean and began to swim away.  Tears were flowing from the shoreline.  Sammy could be seen jumping and swimming away, and then guess who showed up, Mr. Killer Whale who rose up out of the water and swallowed Sammy.  This is why I am sick, as are my sisters, my husband and my best friend, that is the funniest story I have ever heard.  Not because Sammy died, I like seals but because of the idiots on the shoreline gasping in disbelief when an animal gets eaten by another animal. Hello it is nature get over it, but it still makes for a funny damn story. 

Now you want to know why I am not nice, I was telling the story to a girl I work with and as I was sitting across the office from her I could see the tears filling her eyes and that should have stopped me.  Maybe at one time it would have, but not this time.  I kept going and going and going, and I kept laughing and laughing and laughing.  Not because she was crying but because it is a funny story.  Come on it is a seal.  But of course this is the same girl that asked me if I thought she should call animal control because it was hot outside and there were cows in the field and she didn't see any water for them.  They are cows, they're not smart, there is a reason that we eat them.  They don't hang around their water, they graze the fields, besides what is the farmer going to do put them in the house.  "Oh come on Mr. Cow, I have your bed all made for you, please don't crap on my carpets."  

I am not sure where this sickness came from.  Maybe it runs in the family, maybe I picked it up from my husband, or maybe I picked it up in high school when my friend and I used to draw pictures of the people we had no use for and do evil thing to them in the pictures.  I am not quite sure, but whatever it is I am sick and I am the one who must live with it.